I used to be agnostic. About grief. 

When my father had his heart attack, I couldn’t really begin to understand the depth. The gravity. 

After all. 

He was alive wasn’t he? 

Walking wasn’t he? 
So the grief skimmed my shoulders and took flight after a brief moment of trespass. 
But now. 

Now it dives deeper. 

And deeper. 
No longer in trespass. It owns the territory.
And I feel for you, as if my soul were in your body. 
And I realise. 

Because the fear. 

That this moment, will one day come to me. 

When my father too, breathes his last breath. 
The fear fills me so deep. 

I am drowning. 

And I cry tears for you. 

But perhaps just as many if not more for me. 
For a moment I’m not yet ready to face.