All the stuff I said to myself in my 20s…

  1. My kids would never misbehave in public. It clearly meant they weren’t well brought up.
    THE TRUTH Aru is a human being out of my control.
  2. I would make sure my babies were the swaggiest.
    THE TRUTH Once you’re over the chuck and the poos and the wees and the purees, a swaggy outfit is a gift.
  3. I would have all his baby stuff in Scandinavian wooden style.
    THE TRUTH Time flies so fast and so much money gets spent, you lose your Utopian vision very, very quickly.
  4. My kids will eat everything.
    THE TRUTH They might, but they might spit it out as well.
  5. I will always have Friday night date night to keep my relationship on track.
    THE TRUTH Words like always and never shouldn’t really be in rotation once you have a child.
  6. I would just lose the baby weight with all that breastfeeding.
    THE TRUTH That doesn’t quite work for some as it does for others.
  7. Being paranoid and anxious isn’t my style, I’m going to be such a super chilled out mum.
    THE TRUTH No one told me they changed my DNA post childbirth. I am now all of the above.
  8. Hahaha. This is the best one yet. My life as I know it won’t really change. I can still go to work and express and surely I won’t lose that much sleep.
    THE TRUTH. Actually, I just realised whilst writing this, that I can still go to work, I did express and after a point Aru wasn’t too bad with the sleep either. That said, my life still changed 360.
  9. If all the above is true, I would be nuts to want a child.
    THE TRUTH All those love sick parents are really onto something. None of us would have it any other way.


Clearly my former self has now left the building.