Pacification is like looking at third degree burns on a friend and saying, “well at least it doesn’t look too bad on your nose.”

Pacification is like listening to a mother who is fraught and exhausted from 5 wake up calls through the night and saying, “well at least it will only get better now.”

Pacification is like telling a person who just got fired that “at least you have something new to look forward to.”

Pacification is a tool we all use.
To deal with our own discomfort.
When we don’t know what to say.

What we really want to do is provide comfort.
But what we’re really doing, is saying, “How you feel isn’t really how you feel. Feel better now.”

Just be in the pain.
Be in the hurt.
Don’t bother making it better.

Because in that moment.

Maybe I just want a hug.
I just want you to know how painful it is.
How hard it is.

I want to be heard.

And for you to recognise that.

To hear that.

Is enough for me.

And if you’re feeling more skilled than that.
Then recognise that what I’m going thru is very real.
And that struggle is hard, and I’m a rock solid freaking amazing human for it.

Try that for size.