womanhood

a work in progress

Category: How To Be Mindful (Page 2 of 10)

Going around in circles

Life seems to me.

To be cyclical.

Learn what you need to learn, or it’ll go full circle, only to push you back to learn what you resisted the last time around.

So when you complain about something.

Ask yourself,

Have I complained about this before?

Make complaining twice a sin.

Make making change the solution.

X

K

Git

What life are you running from?
What life do you want? 
 
What am I shining upon you? 
 
 
There is no room for that man in my home. 
 
In my spice box. 
 
In my jewellery jars. 
 
No room for that man in my bed. 
 
No room. 
 
 
 
So go. 
 
Get gone. 
 
To the Himalayas. 
 
To the furtherest point from all of this. 
 
Because. 
 
If you don’t go. 
 
Imma send you there myself. 

It’s Not About You

I want to stop looking at all the things you aren’t.

Because once I do that.

I can start seeing myself for all the things I am.

And all the things I need to change.

If you don’t look out for me, why am I not looking out for me?

If you don’t permit me, why do I think I need your permission?

If you don’t indulge me, why am I not indulging myself?

I am all these things for me.

X

K

Getting off

Yes.

Where do men get off.

Thinking women are inadequate.

But the sicker thing.

Or the bigger, most disturbing question is…

Where do women get off.

Behaving like they’re less than. Like they matter less. Like their needs are less important.

What are we teaching our sons?

What are we teaching our daughters?

X

From the woman who did this and is still figuring out why she did it and how to clean her mind from the potty state it was in.

Throw your hands up (in the air)

Somedays it seems you’ve just got to let go.

Not give up, but give in.

To what the universe is deciding for you.

Making the battle easier.

By accepting.

What is in your hands.

And what isn’t.

X

K

The Problem With Religion & Spirituality

I’m yet to find a spiritual person who doesn’t talk as if they have achieved a height in their life that is higher than yours.

One who doesn’t speak of their wellness.

Their incredible depths.

As if.

You, the listener, really need to be a part of it all for your life to be better than it is right now.

And I think that’s the problem with it.

Just because you, the spritiual / religious person, think you know more, doesn’t mean you are more.

Everyone is just as amazing, blessed and incredible as everyone.

X

K

Angst

I don’t think you understand.
What it feels like.
To not know.
When he’ll pounce next.
To leave the home in fear that your baby might not be in safe hands.
To see bulging eyes.
To know that you.
You. 
Are not present.
In that moment.
So far gone.
You could do anything.
And so today.
Like other days.
I hold my shit together.
He cries in my arms.
But what if.
What if tomorrow.
I rile up?
What if tomorrow he hits you?
Then what you gone do?
With all that angst?

Ordinary

Being at ease in the ordinary-ness enables you to tap into the extra-ordinary-ness of yourself.

X

(I’m still getting my head around, but it was inspired by feeling like my life was dull and boring…)

Yourself?

What all will you sacrifice to avoid loneliness?
X

K

Do children ever heal?

From the ruler.

From the belt.

From the spatula.

From the rolling pin.

From the terror.

From the fear.
Or do they grow into adults.

Who cower in the corner.

Or yell till they reach the end.

Who slam the door, not to win, but to shield.

Or taunt and poke at every turn.

Who can’t control their raging bodies.
We learn different methods of coping.

Different methods of winning.
As if this senselessness is the only way to sail thru.

The thing is.

How much are we changing.

And how much are we passing on?
Xx

K
//
I am not perfect. Trust me. I am NOT. 

For Aru. I seem to want to be. My own anger, moodiness and rage, frightens me. I don’t know why violence is such a massive thing for me. Perhaps this life. Perhaps past lives. 

To raise a man who doesn’t hit his wife, will be a magical thing for me. We’ve got a long way to go. And if this is one thing I can do to help make it happen, manage myself, work with my husband, his father. Then I will do it, the best way I can, the best way I know how. 

Inshallah. 

Xx

Page 2 of 10

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