They told me pretty was fair.

They told me she was skinny.

So with two crosses on my checklist, I lost interest in keeping up.

I convinced myself $18 for the eyebrows and $25 for the manicures plus 30 minutes everyday on me and them failing looks wasn’t worth it.

I convinced myself I’d be worth falling for so long as my insides were noticed.
Of course the side effect to ignoring the external was working on the internal.

But after Aru. I looked back. And goddamnit. I was fricking gorgeous.

In my own extremely own way.

There are things beauty cannot define.
It cannot define how you felt in that moment.
Who you were in that passage of time.
Your warmth.
Your glow.
Your genuine-ness.

It will never know.

And because I was blinded by the lights.

I wasted all those years ignoring my hands, ignoring my skin, ignoring my hair. Just ignoring.

Funny these days a good tan and a bit of curve is just right on beautiful. Ridiculous – if only I was 13 today.

Fuck what you hear.

It’s got nothing on how gorgeous you are.

Any time of day, and any place under the sun.

You glow.