I’ve got a dear friend who is pregnant and she reminds me so much of myself when I was pregnant.
I guess there are some women who have wanted children all their lives. And then there are those of us, who often pick up a baby, only to have it start crying and so we quickly shuffle the bubba back to the mumma.
This is for the not-so-maternal-but-going-to-be-a-mum-type-woman.
Hey lovely woman.
I know how icky and frustrating and weird all of this can be at times.
I remember saying to V, “I can’t wait to just get him out of me!”.
Sometimes Aru would make me feel so gooey and lovey inside, and on other days, I’d pronounce him a “Little Shit” even before he was born.
And the thought of being a mum? It was unknown to me.
To be honest, we had Aru for more practical reasons, rather than, “Oh my god, I can’t wait to be a mum squeal squeal squeal“. Not.
And when he came.
I didn’t know what the fuck to do.
None of that, it all happened so naturally bullshit happened to me.
(Sorry Maa, I know I swore back there).
Aunties and Mums would look at me like I had the solution.
And I sure as hell didn’t.
I remember stumbling and stumbling and stumbling some more.
I also remember something inside of me taking over.
An emotion I’d never really had before.
Like a light bulb (a mega watt one), it shone.
I was maternal.
Sure every now and then it was a bit like a tube light which takes time to flicker on. But nevertheless.
I was radiant guys.
Finally I had arrived at this whole motherhood game.
And I was like BRING IT ON SUCKERS.
After so much confusion.
Fights with just about everyone.
Books and failed books and lessons and more lessons.
I chose a motherhood that I couldn’t find.
I stopped looking for examples.
I stopped stalking Instagram profiles with waaaayyyy to much good advice.
I stopped reading about dying babies on Facebook.
I opted for daycare when I was ready.
I chose to be honest about when I’d had enough of him.
I found my own methods after so much tumbling and falling.
And you know what.
He’s turning out pretty damn fine.
And I’m hella sure.
Yours will be as well.
Just so long as you do it your way.
Because you’re the best mum for your bubba.