I think you reach your 30s and you start to realise your parents are human. They mess things up. They can’t fix everything. They can’t do things the way you expect them to be done.
And suddenly, you feel like they’ve failed you.
They’ve been who they are all along.
It’s just you who is changing.
When you were little, they could predict the future.
They could tell you when you’d trip and fall.
They could tell you when the ice cream would make you sick.
They could tell you which of your friends wasn’t the best influence.
They could protect you from it all.
So you started to feel like they knew it all.
They were on the pedestal.
They had the foresight.
They must be super human.
So you start to see them in that light.
Then as you get older.
Suddenly, who they are doesn’t sit right with you anymore.
You feel like they’re letting you down.
Of course they are.
Because you’ve changed.
We all change.
We marry different people who change us.
We meet new people at work who introduce us to new ideas.
We read about new theories and new arguments.
We are in flux.
They are who they are, because they figured themselves out long before.
Minor adjustments here and there, but overall, they know where they stand.
So you can make a choice.
You can omit them. Hurt them. Unlove them.
For not living up to your standards.
Or you can accept them.
And realise, you lived a childhood that wasn’t up to their adult standards.
And they stood by you.
For the messy, late, uncontrollable, crazy little person you were (insert Aru on a challenging day here).
And for the drunk, irresponsible, obstinate, arrogant teen that you were (insert argument with my Dad about 2 bottles of beer here).
And for the betraying, selfish, expectant adult you’ve become (insert fight with my mum here).
I’m saying all these things, because I know – we all have days, when we are some of these things. I AM SOME OF THESE THINGS.
But I can love better.
When I realise.
They are who they are.
And I choose love.
Over a lifetime lost.