I was fooled. Perhaps it was media. Perhaps it was society. Sure, I had crushes. But when it came to LOVE LOVE – well, I had very interesting notions.
- I actually thought he’d be the male version of me.
Clearly I was well in love with myself. I honestly was attracted to artistic, music loving, independent label free dressers who had no trace of corporate. Not even a whiff. V was into finance, significantly more level headed than me and was slim. I just didn’t expect to get a slim guy. I expected to get a short one to compensate for my tummy. Oh god. I can’t even begin. Buries head into thin air because there is no sand.
- I thought I’d know at first sight and it would be pretty dramatic.
Let’s just say. It. Wasn’t. By far. I feel deeply into love over a long span of time. In fact, often, I fall in love over again because I am pleasantly surprised that he is better than I expected. Love evolves.
- I thought he’d get me flowers.
No such thing. In fact, if you want to give V a cruel task, ask him to get you a gift. It really is so hard for the guy. Luckily, I know now, to buy my own gifts. I’m getting real good at it. If he’s not delivering, I just find out how I can. On just about anything!
- I thought the sex would be mind blowing.
It actually got mind blowing after we got married. I am so very glad I didn’t judge based on the sex – like everything else, it evolves.
- I thought it would be happily ever after.
Bullshit. It is like anything in life. If you want to get deeper into your career, it takes work right? If you want your kids to start listening to you, it might take some R&D on your persona right? If you want to work on your back muscles, it’ll take some work over time right? Right. Same for marriage. It takes conversations. It takes fights. It takes change. It takes acceptance. All the movies ended at the point where the story actually begins. Like DK told me, getting married is the 2% of the story. The other 98% is yet to come.
I think checklists for love are like recipes for passion. You just can’t. It comes, it feels right and you go with it.