womanhood

a work in progress

The Sting of Jealousy

I’ve had it. You’ve had it. Want to hear my one?
My darling, darling friend bought a house in Fitzroy.
My sister fits into jeans and blouses so neatly. I’m flapping all over the place.
My cousin is so neat and organised – her handbag looks like what I’d imagine Donna’s would be like. From SUITS of course.
My client has Friday champagne lunches and loves them.

I adore them all so much and in those moments, I become so aware of how I’m feeling. I don’t really know what to do.

I only want to feel positive energy for people. I don’t want envy. I truly don’t.

Why is the grass always apparently greener?
Why do we loose appreciation for what is inside our palms?
Why does the unknown seem full of golden promise?

I know it isn’t greener.
I know what I have is incredible.
I know my own life is a golden gift.

I know it because I remind myself of it every single day.

I know it.
But I still felt it.

I guess the thing is.
To just be ok with it.
Let it pass.
And let it go.

Unless you have any alternative suggestions? Curious to hear your thoughts on this one, I don’t think I’ve reached the bottom of the barrel yet.

xx

K

  • share

Previous

The Overachiever. Or is it AKA The Indian Girl?

Next

Managing Staff When You’re In Your Early 20s

2 Comments

  1. Priya Singh

    Oh Envy! The easiest of the “seven deadly sins” to commit. The questions for me, religion/ideology aside, have always been whether the act of being envious makes me a bad person – and much like you, why am I jealous of a friends Celine Tote when I’m clutching my Burberry Tote in an elevator full of people who would never be able to afford either.

    Here are two thoughts that have helped me:

    – the universe, the world, life, relationships, everything is about balance. My Aji always told me that everyone gets an equal quantity of good and bad cards dealt to them in life but they take different forms and appear in different stages of life. The severity of everyone’s bad cards depend on how strong the person is and everyone’s good cards depend on how much light they send out to everyone else. So I remind myself – maybe the person I’m envious of is actually fighting a battle, or has fought a battle, or will fight a battle that I am fortunate to never have encountered because I wouldn’t have the same strength to deal with it.

    – does envy make me a bad person? No. Everyone has bad feelings, it’s whether we choose to act on those feelings that makes us a bad person. Jealous of Celine Tote? Okay. Intentionally spill red wine on Celine Tote? Not Okay. (Lesson learnt from an episode of Downtown Abbey!)

    As always, thanks for the openness & honesty K – always a delight to read 🙂 xx

    • karishma

      Nice one Priya, your Aji is a legend! For V, who is a Jain, even thinking the thought is not ideal.
      I’d also like to learn what causes these thoughts – they’re reflecting something back at us we need to learn from.
      Always food for thought 🙂 xx k

Let me know your thoughts on this one.

Powered by Life, Love and Everything In between.

Subscribe

Oh hi, please subscribe if you'd like posts to come auto-magically to your inbox.

I promise, no spam. xx K

Yay! Cannot wait to share more with you. xx K