Was the first time.
I held your chubby legs firmly.
A little ruthlessly.

I felt the heat on my cheeks.
The frustration and the anger.
Your wailing made me firmer.

And I’m sorry now.
But Papa says there will be days.
There will be moments.
When you won’t understand.
And your Maa will be in a fix.

For those moments. I’m sorry.
I may have had a choice.
Maybe it was meant to be.

I’m learning now,
motherhood is the longest journey of my life.
And as much as I need to enjoy and cherish those moments.
I’ll also allow myself to get frustrated, lose my patience and raise my voice.
Because that is part of it all.
The bitter and the sweet.
The love and the fear.
The joy and the hardship.

It is all.

And you’re ok and I’m ok.

We’re ok.

xx

Your Maa.