I’ve been talking to V about how I have been finding Aru easier and easier.
I’ve been enjoying the journey much, much more.
It’s not always been like that.
I’ve written about when I wanted to smack him.
When I wanted to give him away.
The highs and the so very lows.
But a friend of mine, has introduced me to Marion Rose who believes in the philosophy of Aware Parenting (please excuse their website, it needs help. Rainbow puke, please forgive me, this is what I do in my working hours…). Marion’s website is much more beautiful. Props.
But let me get back to it.
So we booked a session with Marion to discuss Aru’s recent tantrums.
By tantrums, I don’t mean screaming at the supermarket (yet), I mean a couple of steps away from it. Often, I feel this is a sign, a little warning, a little trigger. If you don’t work to understand and resolve these things, they lead to something bigger.
Trust me on that.
Solve the niggling things and you won’t look back 8 years later with something that is about to push you off the edge of a cliff. Suppression leads to serious f-ups. But I’ll leave that for another post.
We did the session with Marion. Which was an hour of going through things Aru had started to hate. Diaper changes. Seat belts. Being told no. Etc.
We walked out of the session wiser. So much wiser.
Suddenly, our eyes shifted. From seeing things our way, to seeing things Aru’s way.
Understanding his little world.
His physical limitations.
He can’t eat what is infront of him because we keep saying no.
He can’t keep playing because we’re dragging him back to us.
He doesn’t want to eat what we keep pressing right up to his mouth.
When I take him to the park, I’m predominantly on the phone and he’s playing solo. I’d spend a day with him and not really be with him.
He wants to open cupboards and we see containers spilling out.
He wants to pour grains from hand to hand and we see a mess.
He wants me to pick him up so he can see what I’m cooking, I see it as him being needy.
He’s trying to get cards out of my wallet and they won’t budge. I hear him whining but I don’t see the wallet.
Now. I understand.
I feel like he’s speaking to me.
Showing me things all the time.
His little frustrations.
And the more I tap into his language, the easier he gets.
The less frustrated he is.
The more giving he is.
It has changed us.
And for someone like me to really, really, really fall in love with Aru, shit just has to be easier if you know what I mean. This has made things much, much easier.
It might just make things easier for you too.
As with most things, I don’t take on everything from a school of thought. I take what works for me. x