I’ve realised, it’s not that hard to steal a fatherhood.
Here is how to do it.

Let a father know he can’t do anything 100% perfectly right.

Never step away from your child, never trust a father to be capable enough for your standards.

Never allow room for mistakes. Make him feel the burn for what went wrong.

Make a father know that he can never do what a mother can.

Make him an unwelcome, unnecessary accessory of your lives. Because you’ve made sure Daddy spends very little time with baby, it’s only going to be natural baby wants you instead of Daddy.

///

It sounds cruel. I’ll bet you aren’t cruel. I bet you’re LOVELY.
(I know because I’m LOVELY too).

Everytime you say, “Don’t worry, I’ll do it”.
Everytime you say, “I don’t need a break, don’t worry, I can help out”.
Everytime you say, “Don’t do it like that. It has to be done this way”.
Everytime you say, “Remember that time when you forgot to feed him”.
Everytime you say, “You’ll make him cry if you do that”.

You are pushing a very willing father away.
You are closing the door on a relationship that your child needs.
You think you are being selfless and giving. You think you are bending over backwards for your family. But you are disabling, instead of enabling.

Go on.
Let go.
Let him be the Dad he wants to be.

I know this. I was this. Somedays, I am this.
But seeing Aru love V,
seeing V have the confidence to travel with Aru,
knowing that V can do this without me,

makes me realise that part of motherhood is
enabling a beautiful fatherhood.

xx
K