Today Vivek said to me, “you’re fearing Aru”.
I don’t know if I’d put it that way.

Perhaps “fearing” that Aru would cling to me when I wanted to cook.
Or perhaps fearing that we’d be late for his vaccination.
Or fearing that he wouldn’t go to sleep for a long, long time.
Or perhaps fearing that I’d be alone with him. All. Day.

He was right.
He also said, “till you acknowledge it, we can’t move forward”.
He was right about that too.

Something clicked.

The next 18 years (I’d love for Aru to stick around longer than that) – are going to be a long ride if I keep fearing his next move.

I keep thinking it’ll get easier.

Somethings do. But new challenges pop up.
Out. Of. My. Control.

So today, we didn’t fear it.
Aru and I kicked arse.

I let him to cling to me and we cooked curry.
I let him hug me for 10 minutes more before I put him into the cot.
And we went late for the vaccinations. It was perfect timing. No waiting around.

Being told that shit, sucks.
Till you own it.