womanhood

a work in progress

Early May, 2015. Dear Aru.

I want to chronicle the year past.
My blooming, wilting heart.
I want to chronicle how you made me new.
How you made me blue.
And how you made me again anew.

Would you rather I be true?
Or tell you of that “Love at First Sight” type of motherhood?

You know your mother. She could never be untrue to you. Perhaps untrue about how much chocolate she ate that day. Or untrue about how many boys she’d kissed. (More boastful than truthful for that one).

But my darling sweet son.

Let me tell you.

About the early morning delight and the late evening exhaustion.
About wanting to cuddle you in bed all night till you started waking up every hour and then realising it just wasn’t worth it. Being sane for you was always a top priority.
About fearing car rides with you because you’d literally crack it at me.
About walking out the front door and missing you already.

Let me tell you.

About the man I found in your father. A man I’m so glad I got to meet.
The gentle side of him, certainly softer than me.
The man who hid his exhaustion to keep your Maa’s boat afloat.
The man who couldn’t afford a dining table for us, but invested heavily in shares within a few months of you being born.

Let me tell you.

How you changed our entire world.
Sweetheart. You were our clean slate.
A baby boy we were so scared to ruin with our humanness.
I hope we did you proud.

xx

Your maa.

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2 Comments

  1. Sneha

    These words are universal for all mums. Please keep talking to us:)

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