Yes, I fear rejection. 

Yes, it’s in my bones. 

When there were cool kids at school and I wasn’t one of them. 

I didn’t even know how to be one of them. 

I have always been the “good” girl. 

All these “bad” things felt so curious to me. 

Smoking. Condoms. Booze. 

I never gravitated towards it. 

Just never wanted it. 

But the naughtiness of it fascinated me. 

When I told a friend I liked him.

After a year of keeping it inside, bottling up and going off like a boom. 

He looked at me in the face and told me he didn’t. 

Of course I fear rejection. 

// 

But if I loved myself enough. 

I’d know what I’d stand for. 

I’d know what made me happy. 

And that is as simple as friends who text back. 

Friends who check in. 

Friends who are supportive and open to where you want to go. 

Because that shit feels good. 

And with that shit, rejection doesn’t have a card. 

It’s not even on the deck. 

So why seek the opposite? 

X

K