I’m on vacation and I’ve got two sisters helping me with Aru, plus my Dad and V. But somehow, I still found myself not really wanting to be around him.

V said to me, “It’s like you’re comparing your old life to your new life.”
Travelling without Aru vs. travelling with him.

And he was right.

Everything I can do without him.

Go for a swim without having to hold him.
Take photos without rushing because he’s calling.
Eating food whenever I want and not thinking about his bed time.

The solo life.

And we realised.

All the while, I’d kept holding off the things I wanted to do.
Imagine being in Cuba and holding off everything you want to do.
Thinking, I’ll do it tomorrow or when we’re back, or another time.

But.

I can’t fill his cup until I fill mine.

So yesterday.

I took a swim in the ocean alone.
I took a yoga class on Caribbean sands (sorry, but it felt so exotic to say it, I just had to – eeeeeekkkkk!).
I did a merengue at the pool side.

And when the day was done.

My cup was full.
And I had love.
For my little Aru.

Xx