womanhood

a work in progress

Category: Woman To Woman (Page 2 of 26)

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It’s Not About You

I want to stop looking at all the things you aren’t.

Because once I do that.

I can start seeing myself for all the things I am.

And all the things I need to change.

If you don’t look out for me, why am I not looking out for me?

If you don’t permit me, why do I think I need your permission?

If you don’t indulge me, why am I not indulging myself?

I am all these things for me.

X

K

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The Idea of True Love

The world seems to tell us,

History seems to tell us,

Disney seems to tell us and

Bollywood always tells us.

When two souls become one.

Etc. etc.

So I spent my youth waiting.

To meet the person who would finally.

Make me complete.

I would finally be able to push the start button on my life.

Because he was here.

But the biggest thing I forgot to see.

To seek.

To really, truly, admire.

Was myself.

In all my completeness.

In all my beauty.

In all my truth.

The world got it wrong.

Love is when two whole people,

Confident, complete, self-loving, self-nourishing people.

Fall in love.

And want to be together.

That is simply love.

And that’s when it’s pretty cool.

Xx

K

Sent from my iPad

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Getting off

Yes.

Where do men get off.

Thinking women are inadequate.

But the sicker thing.

Or the bigger, most disturbing question is…

Where do women get off.

Behaving like they’re less than. Like they matter less. Like their needs are less important.

What are we teaching our sons?

What are we teaching our daughters?

X

From the woman who did this and is still figuring out why she did it and how to clean her mind from the potty state it was in.

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From one woman to another

If you do one thing in life.
Be it this.

Surround yourself with incredible, loving and supportive women.
They will lift you up.
They will take you along their ride.
They will cradle you when you feel like you can’t move.

Find these women.
Then give them the love
Right back.

X
K

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How. 

How do you find the light? How do you find the change? 

How do you get heard? 

How do you create a love you want to be true? 
All. 

All. 
All. 
It all. 

Starts with you. 
With your love. 
With your pleasure. 

Focus on it KK. 
And don’t forget. 

X
K

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Where do we go from here?

Without you. 
My shoulders feel lighter. 

X
K

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Yourself?

What all will you sacrifice to avoid loneliness?
X

K

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Setting the bar

When I measure my selfworth upon your standards and your approval and your acceptance.It is the most ruthless, cruel and brutal way I can begin to be with myself.

X

K

// 

I’ve started to realise now, how I let people set the bar for me in the past. They probably didn’t do it intentionally. But from parents, to teachers, to men I’ve loved and women I’ve adored. They all had their own standards for things and for some reason,  I wanted to meet their approval, to be good enough for them. For so long.

Now I know. The best thing for me. Is to be good enough for me. 

That’s it. X

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Dear Aru, (end of March, 2017)

You are my barometer. 
Yesterday and today, I didn’t want to be around you. 

I wanted a break. 
But why? 

You’ve been at daycare most of the week! 

Your dad is here to help. 

So why. 
Don’t I want to be with you? 

I feel like you steal time away from me. 

Steal opportunities from me. 

Steal peace from me. 
To browse a store. 

To capture a moment in a gallery. 

To be at peace, flicking a page in a novel. 
Darling Aru. 
I know now.

As I learn over and over and over again. 
These are simply things. 
I have not given myself. 

And I really truly need to. 
Prioritise them. 
So I can come home to you. 
Xx

K

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Vengeful 

One day. 
I too will twist your insides and watch them burn. 
Hurt you where it hurts the most. 
Stab the ego where once the heart said, “don’t please don’t”. 
I too will. 
Take control of something you love. 
Because you might be in a window of time where what you own isn’t yours. 
I too will hold what you need prisoner. 
One day. 
I will break you. 
Just like did me. 
Ruthlessly. 

Humiliatingly. 
And your tears of shame. 

Will release me. 
From this moment. 
//
I never thought I was the revenge type of person. But there was a moment. It’s long gone now. But it was there. In that moment. 
Xx

Page 2 of 26

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