The Sexes Archives • Page 4 of 15 • womanhood

Making Men

By karishma

On March 19, 2017

In Advice from the Oldies, Aware, Fatherhood, Motherhood, The Sexes

We make the men we love.Because the growing never stops.

There is always.

A strong woman somewhere.

In the men we admire the most.

K
// V and I have moulded a lot since day one. At some point in time, I kept moulding to him. I didn’t think to question, doubt or change him. I accepted him. And I’m not saying that you should accept the men you love. But sometimes, they don’t know how to stack glasses on a dish rack so the water drains, or they don’t know about the gender pay gap. Or they don’t know that they’re being patronising when they’re aiming for loving. And so I feel.

It is part of my role. As his partner. To simply. Make him aware. And then sit back. And watch the magic of change just go… ding ding ding.

Responsibilities

By karishma

On March 15, 2017

In Advice from the Oldies, Aware, Career, Entrepreneurship, Family, Fatherhood, How To Be Mindful, Money, Motherhood, People & Land, Stuff About Your Body, The Sexes, Woman To Woman

It’s our responsibility to ask the questions.
X

K
// I always felt I didn’t need to know about the investments, about the money, about the fine lines, about my own health and more. I put this ownice on Vivek. I’m learning now. Everything to do with me and Aru, is my responsibility. And I need to know, I need to be informed.

Anew

By karishma

On March 11, 2017

In Aware, Family, The Sexes

You’ve come back and your love is anew.

I’m wondering.

What happened out there?

In the silence and in the forests,

What happened?

Who is this man who wants to massage my legs?

Who realises that he’s coming from a place of fear before I can start the discussion?

Who is this man who helps so much?

I thought you had gone to find you?

But maybe you found us?

It is a delight to have you home.

With roses and stir fries.

Welcome home.

Let us celebrate.

Revel in our differences this time around.

Because they seem to make us each better than we were before.

X

K

Never needing permission

By karishma

On March 7, 2017

In Advice from the Oldies, Aware, Entrepreneurship, Family, How To Be Mindful, Motherhood, People & Land, The Sexes, Woman To Woman

What life would you be living, if you didn’t need someone else’s approval.
For what you studied.

For how much money you made.

For how many nights you went out.

For which bags you bought.

For the food you ate.

For the tidiness you kept.

For what you did during the day.
If you took a pen a paper and thought.
IF NO-ONE ELSE MATTERED

WHAT WOULD I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE.
Would I want to travel and live overseas for a couple of years?

Would I have a bottle of coke every now and then?

Would I buy a $1000 dress instead of 5 $200 ones?

Would I change my career to something which offered less OR more money?

Would I buy an apartment instead of a house?

Would I wear huge earrings and bright pink shoes?
WHO WOULD I BE IF YOUR THOUGHTS WEREN’T IN MY HEAD?
For every daughter.

For every wife.
Let us stop living for their approval and based on their permission.

Let us believe in our own concepts of life and lifestyle and find the mid-way ground or the no-tolerance ground if it is what you truly believe in.
XX

K – still finding her way.

You and I

By karishma

On February 28, 2017

In The Sexes

This love.
This truth.

These drives.

Those conversations.

That chilli cheese on toast.

Those eyebrows of yours and those salty tears of mine.
You and I.

That love.

Our son.
You and I.

The world in our palms and yet we need for none.
A summer that is like a winter.

A lifetime of learning together.

Enough in the bank.

Enough in the bed.

Enough on the plate.

And that thing over our heads.
And all we want is each other.

Whether or not we know how to be,

Each fight anew.
All we want is each other.

Even when we’re ready to walk away from it all.
All we want is each other.
X

K

North

By karishma

On February 22, 2017

In Aware, Family, Fatherhood, Motherhood, The Sexes

I didn’t know it. But for the longest time, in so many ways, for so many things, you were my compass.
So much so that our identities started to meld into one.
And so now a decade later.
I have no blame for you.
No victim for me.
Just taking many moments a day to pause.
And ask myself.
Which way is my North.
X

K

Non-negotiables

By karishma

On February 19, 2017

In Aware, Family, Fatherhood, Motherhood, The Sexes

Are there signs everywhere?
Signs alerting us to distress.
To awareness.
My sister kindly nudging me with a warning.
A friend observing our behaviour.
My frustration at the little things.

Were they all warnings?
That thankfully, after a while,
Became seeds to larger thoughts of awareness.
That brought on a tiny little fight,
But one we knew we needed help with.
And I pray. Actually, scrap that, I rarely pray.
I send a message to the universe.
I am grateful.
(Just realised, that might be prayer).
I am grateful.
It was a little fight.

Because we never know what the darkness bring.
My one non-negotiable.
X

K

Hey honey, Something isn’t right here.

By karishma

On February 15, 2017

In Aware, The Sexes

It’s scary being in a marriage when you know your partner (if for a moment), was controlling. Were you that woman who allowed it?

Because you ADORE, ADMIRE and perceive yourself as a STRONG WOMAN.
But your right ankle rolled.

And you looked it up in a book by Inna Segal.

And there was a lot to it.

But one line that struck you was about a controlling authority figure in your life.

And you couldn’t see.

That it might have been him.
Things done his way because you feared his disappointment.

Words spoken eloquently to achieve the right outcome.

Requests put on hold for the right moment of acquiesce.
You always put yourself in the same boat as Michelle Obama.

Just as strong.

Just as loved.
But while you were so busy watching her in that plum red coat.

You couldn’t pause to look at yourself.

To observe the decisions you were making for all the wrong reasons.
So your ankle started getting ready.

It was just an accident waiting in the wings.
To let you know.

Hey honey,

Something isn’t right here.
X

K

A note of caution

By karishma

On February 14, 2017

In Aware, How To Be Mindful, The Sexes, Woman To Woman

V and I have been through some interesting marriage realisations lately.
So if you’re reading the posts and hoping we’re ok – we are.

We basically realised we were stuck in a loop.

He developed a superiority complex and I developed an inferiority complex.

Together, it was so complimentary, it was nuts.

Each was feeding off the other.

You really do get what you give out to the universe.
Till one day V was like, she’s too dependant on me.

And I was like, he’s too controlling.
And since then, we’ve been unravelling.

Loosening the bolts.

Readjusting the hinges.
Kind of finding our zen again.
We’re not quite there yet.
I need to hear my soul for me to get there.
So if you’re reading some posts that have you worried – just know, they were a month ago, we’re processing and all is well (mostly!). And you’ll find this journey marked in “The Sexes” category, in case you want to know how it’s all falling into place or out of place 🙂
X hugs,

K

How To Dream

By karishma

On February 9, 2017

In Advice from the Oldies, Aware, Career, Entrepreneurship, Faith?, How To Be Mindful, Kholo, Money, People & Land, The Sexes, Travel, Woman To Woman

If you are to dream, Don’t do it cautiously.

Or hesitantly.

Or steadily even.
Dream irrationally.

Ridiculously.

Wildly.

And with abandon.
Because that my friend,

Is how one ought to dream.

womanhood

a work in progress

Category: The Sexes (Page 4 of 15)

Making Men

Responsibilities

Anew

Never needing permission

You and I

North

Non-negotiables

Hey honey, Something isn’t right here.

A note of caution

How To Dream

Hi, I’m Karishma

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