womanhood

a work in progress

Category: The Sexes (Page 2 of 14)

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It’s Not About You

I want to stop looking at all the things you aren’t.

Because once I do that.

I can start seeing myself for all the things I am.

And all the things I need to change.

If you don’t look out for me, why am I not looking out for me?

If you don’t permit me, why do I think I need your permission?

If you don’t indulge me, why am I not indulging myself?

I am all these things for me.

X

K

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Low

You pretend to be above it all.

But today you showed me just how really low you can go.

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The Idea of True Love

The world seems to tell us,

History seems to tell us,

Disney seems to tell us and

Bollywood always tells us.

When two souls become one.

Etc. etc.

So I spent my youth waiting.

To meet the person who would finally.

Make me complete.

I would finally be able to push the start button on my life.

Because he was here.

But the biggest thing I forgot to see.

To seek.

To really, truly, admire.

Was myself.

In all my completeness.

In all my beauty.

In all my truth.

The world got it wrong.

Love is when two whole people,

Confident, complete, self-loving, self-nourishing people.

Fall in love.

And want to be together.

That is simply love.

And that’s when it’s pretty cool.

Xx

K

Sent from my iPad

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Trite but True

I never knew just how much I loved you till the moment I thought i might loose you.

X

K

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Don’t.

Don’t look at me like that.
Don’t be so attentive.
Don’t give it all away.
Don’t laugh at everything I say.
Don’t open doors.
Don’t be a gentleman.
Don’t have great friends.
Don’t be so considerate.
Don’t walk with swag.
Don’t wear them kicks.
Don’t take me so seriously when I’m talking about something so deeply.
Don’t champion me.
Don’t be there for me.

Don’t.
Because it’s making me weak.

X
K

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The Chase

Hey you.
I know you.
I know that game you’re playing.
Such a tease.

I know men who stop, drop and roll for me.
I know that tone.
That delight.

I know this dance you and I are playing.
The flirty dance.
The one which is a rush.
With each message arriving with a heady ting.

Each stroke.
A flush of guilt and euphoria all at once.
I know.

It’s the chase.
The whole game is the chase.

Once that’s over.
The game is over.
For me it is.

Unfortunately for you, it has begun.
But I’m out honey.
I’m out.

X
K

Angst

I don’t think you understand.
What it feels like.
To not know.
When he’ll pounce next.
To leave the home in fear that your baby might not be in safe hands.
To see bulging eyes.
To know that you.
You. 
Are not present.
In that moment.
So far gone.
You could do anything.
And so today.
Like other days.
I hold my shit together.
He cries in my arms.
But what if.
What if tomorrow.
I rile up?
What if tomorrow he hits you?
Then what you gone do?
With all that angst?
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What are we waiting for?

Why is it that

In this day

In this decade

In this moment under the sun

I never realized

I thought I needed my mans permission to live the life I wanted.

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How. 

How do you find the light? How do you find the change? 

How do you get heard? 

How do you create a love you want to be true? 
All. 

All. 
All. 
It all. 

Starts with you. 
With your love. 
With your pleasure. 

Focus on it KK. 
And don’t forget. 

X
K

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Where do we go from here?

Without you. 
My shoulders feel lighter. 

X
K

Page 2 of 14

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