Family Archives • Page 3 of 21 • womanhood

Anew

By karishma

On March 11, 2017

In Aware, Family, The Sexes

You’ve come back and your love is anew.

I’m wondering.

What happened out there?

In the silence and in the forests,

What happened?

Who is this man who wants to massage my legs?

Who realises that he’s coming from a place of fear before I can start the discussion?

Who is this man who helps so much?

I thought you had gone to find you?

But maybe you found us?

It is a delight to have you home.

With roses and stir fries.

Welcome home.

Let us celebrate.

Revel in our differences this time around.

Because they seem to make us each better than we were before.

X

K

Never needing permission

By karishma

On March 7, 2017

In Advice from the Oldies, Aware, Entrepreneurship, Family, How To Be Mindful, Motherhood, People & Land, The Sexes, Woman To Woman

What life would you be living, if you didn’t need someone else’s approval.
For what you studied.

For how much money you made.

For how many nights you went out.

For which bags you bought.

For the food you ate.

For the tidiness you kept.

For what you did during the day.
If you took a pen a paper and thought.
IF NO-ONE ELSE MATTERED

WHAT WOULD I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE.
Would I want to travel and live overseas for a couple of years?

Would I have a bottle of coke every now and then?

Would I buy a $1000 dress instead of 5 $200 ones?

Would I change my career to something which offered less OR more money?

Would I buy an apartment instead of a house?

Would I wear huge earrings and bright pink shoes?
WHO WOULD I BE IF YOUR THOUGHTS WEREN’T IN MY HEAD?
For every daughter.

For every wife.
Let us stop living for their approval and based on their permission.

Let us believe in our own concepts of life and lifestyle and find the mid-way ground or the no-tolerance ground if it is what you truly believe in.
XX

K – still finding her way.

How am I feeling?

By karishma

On March 2, 2017

In Aware, Career, Entrepreneurship, Family, How To Be Mindful

Like I’ve released something.
Like I need to keep on going.
Like I need to forgive the past.

Accept it was a time of learning, at least it wasn’t a lifetime.
You know not, how many times I’ve wondered.

If other people live like this.
With all this shit in their heads.
Going on and on.
Like a mouse in a loop.

Scurrying.

North

By karishma

On February 22, 2017

In Aware, Family, Fatherhood, Motherhood, The Sexes

I didn’t know it. But for the longest time, in so many ways, for so many things, you were my compass.
So much so that our identities started to meld into one.
And so now a decade later.
I have no blame for you.
No victim for me.
Just taking many moments a day to pause.
And ask myself.
Which way is my North.
X

K

Non-negotiables

By karishma

On February 19, 2017

In Aware, Family, Fatherhood, Motherhood, The Sexes

Are there signs everywhere?
Signs alerting us to distress.
To awareness.
My sister kindly nudging me with a warning.
A friend observing our behaviour.
My frustration at the little things.

Were they all warnings?
That thankfully, after a while,
Became seeds to larger thoughts of awareness.
That brought on a tiny little fight,
But one we knew we needed help with.
And I pray. Actually, scrap that, I rarely pray.
I send a message to the universe.
I am grateful.
(Just realised, that might be prayer).
I am grateful.
It was a little fight.

Because we never know what the darkness bring.
My one non-negotiable.
X

K

Fighting with your parents

By karishma

On February 18, 2017

In Advice from the Oldies, Aware, Family

I think you reach your 30s and you start to realise your parents are human. They mess things up. They can’t fix everything. They can’t do things the way you expect them to be done.
And suddenly, you feel like they’ve failed you.
But really.

They’ve been who they are all along.
It’s just you who is changing.
When you were little, they could predict the future.

They could tell you when you’d trip and fall.

They could tell you when the ice cream would make you sick.

They could tell you which of your friends wasn’t the best influence.

They could protect you from it all.
So you started to feel like they knew it all.

They were on the pedestal.

They had the foresight.

They must be super human.

Perfect almost.
So you start to see them in that light.
Then as you get older.

Suddenly, who they are doesn’t sit right with you anymore.

You feel like they’re letting you down.
Of course they are.

Because you’ve changed.

We all change.
We marry different people who change us.

We meet new people at work who introduce us to new ideas.

We read about new theories and new arguments.

We are in flux.
But sweetheart.

They are who they are, because they figured themselves out long before.

Minor adjustments here and there, but overall, they know where they stand.
So you can make a choice.

You can omit them. Hurt them. Unlove them.

For not living up to your standards.
Or you can accept them.

And realise, you lived a childhood that wasn’t up to their adult standards.

And they stood by you.
For the messy, late, uncontrollable, crazy little person you were (insert Aru on a challenging day here).

And for the drunk, irresponsible, obstinate, arrogant teen that you were (insert argument with my Dad about 2 bottles of beer here).

And for the betraying, selfish, expectant adult you’ve become (insert fight with my mum here).
I’m saying all these things, because I know – we all have days, when we are some of these things. I AM SOME OF THESE THINGS.
But I can love better.

When I realise.
They are who they are.

And I choose love.
Over a lifetime lost.
X

K