womanhood

a work in progress

Category: Kholo (Page 1 of 4)

You Can’t Control Tomorrow

Hey Karishma,

Don’t step too far into the future.

Take each day, each hurdle as it comes.

Just as you promised yourself with Aru, you’d manage every problem as it came. You couldn’t anticipate all that could come. You’d do your best to be overall, but if it came, you’d be awake to it, alert to it and seek help.

Same thing with this.

You can’t foresee everything.

All the pitfalls, the bad experiences, the hurt.

You can’t save yourself from it all.

So just take each little trouble as it comes.

Solve and resolve.

But darling Karishma.

Don’t spend all your today’s moments dwelling in tomorrow unforseen problems.

You have no control over what will come.

Just do your best today.

And trust that tomorrow will be nothing short of awesome.

Be it awesome laughter and delight.

Or awesome learnings.

X

K

7a66f7a2-4805-4232-9612-7f7425cfc81f.jpg

On Making Art

I don’t know how you find yourself.
After you dive so deep.
How to take your feet out of the water, when your head is so deeply in.

Its like telling your body to stop falling in love when you are already in love.
Like telling a woman to stop giving birth in her final few moments.
You just don’t stop.

Running this kholo business has made me feel like that.
How do I stop dreaming about it every night?
How do I stop running to thoughts of it every morning?

I have to remind myself.
Balance. Balance. Balance.
Everything in balance Karishma.
But it’s so hard.

When I all I want to do is fall hard.
Tumble deep.
And have my lungs filled with the soulfulness of making art.

That finally.
Art that I love.
And art that women are more than willing to buy.
Hungry to buy.
Hungry to love.
Hungry to breathe in. To.

Finally.
I am alive.

X
K

Eden

A Truth Bomb, 

As my friend calls it. 

This is no place for dishonesty. 

So let me lay it out there. 

For you women. 

You readers. 

Who take my good with my bad. 
I never wanted a child per say. 

It was the done thing. 

I did it. 

Never really knowing what it might entail. 
What has transpired from that, is a real journey. 

Moments of never fully unleashing any regrets, but also moments of not loving this whole scene of baby smell and whining at all. 

Being unsure if this is my path. 

Or if I just let it happen. 
I honour and admire my mother. 

Who passed no judgement at all upon these emotions. 

She has let me feel. 

That it is simply ok. 

To feel.

How you feel. 
I’m better now. 

I have Kholo. 

Which is for me.

A making. 

 

And I have found my peace, at least for now, in the role I play in Aru’s life. 

I have found my delight. 
So moving on from children. 

I am vulnerable. 

To heights of emotions. 

To a charged sexuality when it comes to other men. 

Outside of the love bonds. 

Outside of the contract. 

Outside of the need to have and to hold. 
And I don’t know what that means. 

Don’t know how to break it down. 

How to FIX it. 
But I’m learning now. 
I’m not the only one. 

And of course, that makes me feel better. 
But. 

For now I’m a prisoner just as much as a thriving flower. 

In my own garden of Eden. 
X

K

An Ode to the Sari 

When I was little, I wanted to work at the United Nations and wear a sari everyday.

My mother introduced me to jute, hand woven fabrics and vintage silk.

My mother-in-law introduced me to chiffon, hand dying and colours that pushed me beyond cream and maroons. 

My grandmothers introduced me to soft, soft, soft cotton. Pastels and the way creases fold upon fold. 
I never liked my tummy, especially once I had started to notice it. 

Most women don’t see it. But a sari hides a tummy, simply depending on how you wear it. 

It suits some, it doesn’t suit others. 

It probably pairs itself best with women who adore it. 
A woman in a sari. 

Seems to do things to an Indian man. Or one who feels likewise. 

Stirs things. 

Commands something new. 

Makes the brows raise and the words slip from the tongue, “Ah”. 
When I started this collection, it was obvious to me that there would be saris involved. 

And there are. 

It’s just that my mum has first dibs, so you might need to wait for the next season. 
X

Processed with VSCO with a6 preset

My Boys

I’m here.

Miles away from my boys.
My man and my son.

The cheeks that brush mine so often.
The arms that spread wide open to engulf me.

My man.
The wise counsel at night when I’m restless and anxious.

My son.
The abundant love that never doubts me.

The two of them.
Fill my world.
On most days.

Being without them makes me feel like I’m walking around without a pair of my limbs.
I don’t know why the credit card account is blocked.
I don’t know when lunch time has passed.
I don’t know how to find the strength to fill a day with more fabric talk.

And I long.
For each of them.

Each hug filling my insides.

But.
That said.

I grow stronger each passing moment.
I learn about export duties.
I know how to send a firm “no” non-verbally at a harassing taxi driver.
I smile at receptionists and I know they find the magic in my smile,
A magic I thought I’d lost long ago.
I realise I’ve paid double per metre than I needed to.
I am pampered by others in my life, I usually care not to notice.

The mother coming home to Aru is anew.
The wife coming to V is anew.

The learning is in the risk you take.
The growth is in the leap you rise to.
When you feel pain, there is some kind of personal journey happening right there.
So don’t run.
Stay.

Feel it anyway.
Because.
The only way out.
Is through.

X
K

IMG_7233

Throw your hands up (in the air)

Somedays it seems you’ve just got to let go.

Not give up, but give in.

To what the universe is deciding for you.

Making the battle easier.

By accepting.

What is in your hands.

And what isn’t.

X

K

IMG_2150

From one woman to another

If you do one thing in life.
Be it this.

Surround yourself with incredible, loving and supportive women.
They will lift you up.
They will take you along their ride.
They will cradle you when you feel like you can’t move.

Find these women.
Then give them the love
Right back.

X
K

IMG_7211

Entrepreneurial Overwhelm

So sorry for going MIA.
This Kholo thing has had me swept under.
Like deep.
Super deep.

I’ve forgotten how hard it was to set up a business, the domain name, the e-commerce store, the pricing, the tags, the packaging, the shipping, it feels like it never ends.

It’s a lot like having a baby and I’m at month 8.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m loving it, but at times I’ve felt.

Overwhelmed.

And I’m wondering if Aru got the short end of the stick with my patience last night.

It’s so easy to feel so deep, you comprise everything around you.
Your yoga.
Your meals.
Your loves.

Because this thing drives you.
It needs you.
And you feel like.
You need to deliver.

But today.
Today I was extraordinary.

I walked out of the office at 2:30pm and thought.
That’s it.

Today, I’m taking time out.

And it has been.
Phenomenal.

Everything that is meant to happen, will happen and I trust that.

X
K

img_6809

In my (not so humble) point of view 

Success is nothing other than.How happy you are right here.

Right now.
X

K

Alive

Kholo keeps my soul alive. 

It keeps my eyes wide. 

Seeking, searching. 

It keeps me alive. 

I cannot wait to show you. 

The silks. 

The embroidery. 

I’m so nervous to share it –

What if it gets copied in a day? 

And I’m still scrambling to make the photoshoot happen?

Each little move to expose makes me nervous. 

I’ve barely done an instagram feed because I’m like… 

What if it isn’t on point? 

I don’t think I’ve ever feared getting it wrong, the way I’m fearing it now. 

But. 

As a friend of mine said. 

Scared is a good place to be. 

So. 

I guess all that’s left. 

Is to leap. 

X

K

Page 1 of 4

Powered by Life, Love and Everything In between.

IMG_5190

Subscribe

Oh hi, please subscribe if you'd like posts to come auto-magically to your inbox.

I promise, no spam. xx K

Yay! Cannot wait to share more with you. xx K