womanhood

a work in progress

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The Trained Introvert

I used to be quiet. I used to cry every day that I had to attend kindergarten, probably for months. My dad sent the driver with a big ruler in the boot to ensure I wasn’t to come back home in the car, but to get out of the car instead. 

I didn’t like parties or functions. 
Then at some point, it dawned on me. 

That perhaps, to be popular. 

You needed to smile and laugh and socialise. 

Perhaps to be loved among your peers and respected, 

You needed to turn on the charm and dial out the right details. 

Perhaps. 
And so I did. 

I got the popularity. 

I got the 500+ on Facebook. 

I got the “friends”. 
///
But I stopped being who I innately was. 

I lost all that for this falsehood. 
And truth is. 

I don’t really want the 500. I just want the 5. 

And the truth is. 

I don’t want to pretend anymore. 
I’d rather be me. 

Private. Quiet. 
But happy to be in the sun

With the right person. 
Instead of the 100 wrong ones. 
X

K

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1 Comment

  1. Cheri

    This resonated with me so much. I’m the same. I CAN be that person who walks into a party or event and ‘turn it on’, but it’s not me. The real Cheri is happy with a book at the beach or a catch up over coffee. The thing is, the older I get, I CANT pretend anymore.

    And I don’t want to.

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