Some concepts of counselling have been really complex for me to understand. The Ego Self has been one of them. Perhaps I’m not the 100% correct person to explain this, but I feel like maybe if you read a bit here, it might spark something in you as a start to understanding it, or perhaps you will smile and say, “Aha, this girl is learning something finally.”
In a lot of religious text, you can find the word ego everywhere. It’s actually so overused, we’ve probably stopped absorbing its meaning.
So here is a little story.
One day, I’m mad at V, because the housework feels never done and I’m wondering why he’s barely contributing. I feel like its his turn this time, to be “wrong”, so I’m super confident and super mad.
He says to me, “You need a full time job.”
This brings up other issues inside me about not earning the same amount as him and therefore not feeling as important as him. (I know you’re yawning, but bear with me!).
So I have a cry and take a nap.
After I wake up, I am so much more rested.
I explain to him that he needs to help with the housework unless he can afford us a full time maid (I’m playing a game of chess here and I know that he can’t afford it, so he’ll have to stagger back).
He smiles and says, “I don’t think this is so much about the housework Karishma.”
THIS IS THE PART.
WHERE I CAN CHOOSE.
Ego or self.
Where I can explore this new argument, which is going to hurt my ego.
Or, I can retaliate and force him to do more housework.
He goes on to explain.
“The last few weeks, this hasn’t really bothered you. But you’ve been a bit lost since we stopped making the app and you’re noticing these things more. I think something that really occupies your mind is going to benefit you.”
And I think, in this moment, I might be having a better day.
Because I pause to consider.
And I think letting go of some ego, is simply that.
Pausing to consider what someone is saying.
Even if it might be hurtful for you to hear, it might feel heavy on your sense of ego.
Be open to the feedback.
Can I also just note – chances are, your ego is always going to be highly defensive around those who surround you the most often. So don’t think of long lost friends and ego. Think of the everyday fights, with the everyday people.
Shedding the ego,
As visually glorious as it sounds,
Is simply, pausing to consider.