womanhood

a work in progress

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Hangovers from the past

So this is part 2 to the styling experience. 
Megan, the stylist, took me on a “shopping experience”. 

No need to buy anything, just experience shopping in a different way. 
And as we started, she told me about “hangovers from the past”. 
Maybe your mum never liked you in sleeveless. 

Maybe in the 80s brown skin wasn’t cool, so you needed to cover it up. 

Maybe that picture of you jumping with spaghetti straps and a white tee wasn’t so flattering. 

Maybe platforms are so 90s. 

Maybe long necklaces rested between your boobs funny. 

Maybe your husband didn’t like “blooming” skirts that gave you the hips you don’t have. 

Maybe the idea was to look slimmer, so everything (or most things), had to be fitted to avoid the “tent” look. 
All visual, fashion hangovers of the past. 
Things people said. 

Magazine articles you read. 

Pinterest advice you pinned.
They stop you. 

In the change room. 

And in life. 
In your tracks. 
And suddenly,

You’re stuck in time. 

Xx

K

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2 Comments

  1. Cheri

    Last year I turned up to a lunch on a sweltering hot day in Surry Hills with a friend. I got to the table and she said ‘I was wondering if you were going to show off your pins today!’. I was dressed in skinny jeans and a top that covered my arms and was totally oblivious to the weather.

    It took me a moment, then she said ‘Cheri I have never seen your arms OR your legs, the entire time I’ve known you’. There she sat in cute teeny tiny denim shorts and a linen singlet.

    I brushed it off, but it really made me sit and reflect. I don’t wear shorts because Indian girls don’t do that. And I’d never worn anything sleeveless because my growing up good Indian girls didn’t show their arms, let alone their shoulders!

    And as I’ve grown older, I feel like my arms AND legs are too fat to show the world. That lunch changed that though. It’s really made me think about challenging all the things I have come to know. And most of them, I really don’t think about anymore. They’re so ingrained in my everyday life.

    I always gravitate to things that have sleeves and skinny jeans because they make me look thinner. Avoid drop waists because they make my hips look large. Anything that covers my thighs, because I look thinner. Invest in crazy shoes and handbags because they distract from the body. Contacts because I can hide my true self. Another barrier to the world.

    I think it goes deeper than just clothes, but really expressing (or hiding) ourselves. It’s something I really want to change. I don’t want to hide behind clothes or makeup or anything like that anymore. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with loving them (I do!) but I have so many friends who do similar things. Spend 6k on a handbag because they’re hiding an insecurity or have to wear outrageous to a party, because they aren’t enough. They need to cut through the clutter with their clothes because they want to be seen, be heard.

    As for me, I’m typing this as I’m just about to hop on a plane. I’ve packed the most ridiculous plunging leopard print swimsuit for Hawaii (I’m obbessed with leopard print. I’m convinced I’m secretly a middle-aged woman living on the GC inside.) where I will not only be showing off my arms, my legs and my stomach but half my bootie too. And I’m sure they’ll be a nip-slip at some point!

    I think 2017 is the year of letting go. Starting fresh. Challenging everything we’ve been taught about others and about ourselves. Being who we want to be. Gosh, the world needs it right now.
    And so do I.

    Much Love my gorgeous friend.
    xxxx

    • karishma

      Aaaawwwwww. Wow. Cheri I’ve always been fascinated with your beauty. Like OH MAH GAWD. I think I show my legs because they’re the best thing I’ve got. So Indian of me. I’m with you on everything. But the biggest being – 2017 is the year of letting go. My counsellor said people come to her at 40 with a mid-life crisis of not knowing who they are. I just showed up a few years earlier 😉 I need to learn who I want to be. AND be okay with it.
      Biggest hugs to you. I want to see your legs next time we catch up. And those arms….. 🙂 xx

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