Lately, I had a fall out with a friend. I needed her support, to just pull her stuff together for me.
I spoke rudely to hear in my rough mood. She was upset. The next day, I apologised. But I felt like, she wasn’t hearing my side of the story. She wasn’t taking it in.
Confused and upset, I asked my darling friend, Nicole, for her opinion. Nicole asked me to describe the situation.
Aru was pulling on me, I needed to make dhokras, pack them and get going super fast. What I wanted in this moment, was some time to concentrate and focus on finishing the dhokra making, packing, grabbing the keys and some lippy and leaving the house.
I needed her to just say to me, “Is there anyway I can help?” But she didn’t. And she couldn’t.
Nicole looked at me. She simply said, “She’s not a mum, and so she can’t understand”.
And in that moment, it was like everything became acutely clear. She said, “Karishma, your friend has never had to run a house, run a business, be a mum and literally, juggle the juggle.”
And so. I realised, I was wrong to expect something of her – that she had no capability, no tools, no awareness as to how to give it. I wonder how often this happens.
From employers to employees.
Freelancers to clients.
Mothers to cleaners.
Husbands to wives.
How much do we expect. How much do we realise, simply can’t be understood?
And perhaps it takes explaining and learning, But in the heat of the moment, that is the last thing you’re likely to part with.