Our deepest emotions are those we don’t express. 
The ones we run, hide and escape from. 
I hide from you. 

From you going. 

From this big trip of yours. 
I don’t want to pause and think about what it means. 

You not being around. 

Not flying in every month. 

Not nagging me on FaceTime. 

Not sharing a wardrobe. 

Not taking Aru to the child-friendly places like zoos and aquariums that I really abhor. 
I don’t want to pause and think about what it means. 

You backpacking, without me to guide you. 

You exploring a beautiful monument without us to share it with you. 

You capturing memory after memory and us not within them. 

You, the cuddliest one of us all, not having a friend around for a cuddle. 
It’s all too scary, so even now, I hold the tears. Keep them at the brim. Because before you can blink, I’m capable of changing the string of my thought. 
I can’t believe how significantly mature you’ll become. 

Perhaps though, you’ll be bossier than ever. 

Or perhaps, you’ll have new found respect for your hippie, aura-believing sister. 

Maybe relationships will be a new mystery to you to unfold. 

Or you might find new families in new lands. 
Imagine the places you’ll go. 

But more so. 
Imagine the new woman you’ll become. 
My love and more, more, more, more, 

No tears, because I choose no tears, 

Courage, faith, air points and cash, because I choose, to be with, 

Rather than without, 
Xx

K