I have a friend whose parents are going through a divorce. We caught up last week. She wanted me to write. For her. Literally, gave me a pen and paper while we sipped our coffee. This is for you sweetheart. xx
8 Things Parents Need To Know (about their children) When They’re Getting a Divorce
- Just the way you love your children equally. They love you both equally.
- They don’t want to know the details. They don’t want to know the stories. The why. They don’t. If they do, they’ll ask.
- Seek professional help. No questions, buts or ifs. Just do it.
- The divorce bothers them less than the fighting.
- They’re not in a place to judge either of you. Please don’t put them in that place.
- They know more than you think. The eyes. The anger. The emails. The messages. They know from your voice. They know from your silence.
- Be conscious of how you treat them when you’re angry at each other. This is not their fault. They don’t deserve your anger.
- They are hard wired to learn from you. How you treat each other. How you cruel you can be. How revengeful you can be. How much you choose to ignore. How much you pretend. How long you let it drag for. How you blow up and don’t resolve. How deep it all cuts.
They are learning all of this from you. You can choose what you want to teach them. Your actions are the choice you make.
I truly hope this helps in some way or form. Whether it’s something you forward to, to make your voice heard or something you share with a friend who is going through the same thing. Or, if it’s something that makes you cry a little, but also gives you hope, that you aren’t the only one. There are a lot of us going through it. We just don’t talk about as much as we should.