a work in progress

Temporary Emotions

Even if I choose to deny you all that you need from me.

My body fails me. It shows up. And my karma stays true to who need to be, even if my heart disagrees.


Past tense

If only I knew then, what I know now.

But that wouldn’t be life would it.



As you were

Sometimes it’s better not to question your awesome.

Just go with it.

Pausing between self critiques

The thing is.

Even on my bad days,

I’m doing my best.

But I’m beating myself up about it.

Because it’s not PERFECT.

But that doesn’t mean

It’s not amazing

Or brilliant

Or hilarious

Or deliciously awesome.

I’m learning now.

Perfection seems to be the minus.

Not the plus.



To Do List:

Some days, the best thing you can do is show up. And that is ok. It’s more than ok.



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There is a spectrum

From full time working mum to full time stay-at-home mum.

And no mum sacrifices more or less. Let’s be clear.

We make the choices we make because we WANT to make them.

Working full time is not about ego.

It’s not about being selfish.

It’s about what makes you happy and for a child, a happy mum is priceless.

Staying at home full time is not about sacrifice.

It’s not about selflessness.

It’s about doing what makes you happy and what makes sense to you.


Let us not teach our children than one decision is better or worse.

That one is more noble than another.

Let us simply teach our children to be able to make choices that make them happy.

And leave the judging to the mindless.



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Is it just me?

Or is it that we want to have sex with anyone we’re not meant to have it with?

And is kinda super hot?



Sorry V – will make it up to you 😉

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Potty Training

Potty training Aru has been challenging.

I’ve watched V and I both become anxious and restrained in the process.

I realized part of my reasons to do it (aside from the fact that I think he’s ready), were also to avoid negative taunts when we travel to india. Which isn’t fair on Aru.

But I’ve also begun to realize (like many times before). He isn’t in my control.

I’m seeking solutions and answers and rectification. I don’t like things being inconvenient or harder than usual.

I’m so ready to challenge myself with work. But with Aru, I expect him to fit into my mould. Do as I say. Not challenge me.

And that is simply.

Not fair.

Sorry Aru. I’ll cuddle you and read you some “Partytime” tonight and heck, you can have some chocolate just for being such a little legend – even if you don’t shit in the pan.


Love your Maa.

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She wanted.

His fingers trailing her nape.

His firm hands turning her to face him.

She wanted to feel his coarseness.

To finally feel release.

She wanted to see his olive skin.

The veins on his hands.

She wanted to unravel.

And I cannot explain.

What she saw in a man she didn’t know.

Even the name of.

But in his eyes.

There was a wildness.

She needed to meet.

So heaven help her.




Controlling Men

I’m learning now.

Men are as controlling.

As women are obliging.

Once I stopped folding.

He stopped pushing.



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